Aidan Nuh: You will always be my first! [Happy First Birthday Aidan Nuh]

Dear my cutie pie Aidan Nuh, It has been my greatest privilege to be called your mother this past year. I don’t know how many times throughout the day i pause and look at you and think, “he belongs to me??? how did i get so lucky?” Holding you in my arms is still one of my favorite things to do and I can’t believe it’s been one year! 

I barely remember you that tiny – so cute and kissable right from the start. 

Alhamdulillah, Aidan's cant wait to see the world and he was born on 28 May 2014 [2.75kg@50cm]. Interested to read my birth story? Click here!


You are the first one to make me forget about myself. You are the first person i ever said "I love you" to more than 100 times in a day. You are the first person whose nose i wiped and poo i washed. You are the first person i ever want to spend all of my money to. You are the first person i ever care more than my life.

I'm sorry for all the mistakes that i have done, like letting you roll off the bed onto the floor, letting you played by yourself when i was too tired to even get up, giving you junk food whenever i'm too lazy to cook.

Just remember that mama and baba love you so much!

Love,
Mama

Aidan Nuh: My Bittersweet BFJourney!

Hey lovelies,

Salam Jumaat and Happy Friyay!!!

Aidan Nuh is almost ONE year young!!! 3 more weeks to go!!

So here is Aidan's almost first year breastfeeding report! I don't really want to write about this.. but i think, for memory sake..i need..or i should jot it down somewhere, right?


And now the hardest part begin! My breastfeeding journey! I know that not every mommy had it that simple! And i am one of them -_-  Aidan was and still latches effortlessly but due to his small mouth at that time, i suffered a whole lot!! I screamed and bite my lips so hard  every time he wanted to latch. There was countless nights that i couldn't sleep as he wanted to latch all night long! I cried so much inside! My parents kept saying it was because i didn't produce enough milk whatnot whatnot..but i choose to bear with it as long as i could.

Things didn't get any better when he was diagnosed with jaundice on his 6th days. His reading was so high and the doctor asked to admit him for the UV light therapy, Since it was a breastfeeding friendly hospital, i can room in with him. He was not happy the whole time we were there. I started to use my breast pump for the first time at the hospital so that he can bottle-feed while receiving the treatment. Oh boy, i was sooo stress tahap dah nk meroyan gitu! Stress because of his reading kept going up and it double up when i could not pumped enough milk for him! And obviously lead me to do something stupid that i could not forgive myself , like forever!! I DILUTED my breast milk with a little bit of MINERAL WATER! Ya Allah!! Please forgive me!! I was wrong! I just could not bare to see him crying! I did it ONCE and just a few drop of water but i seriously could not forgive myself for that :( Alhamdulillah, Aidan was OK! But still.. it was something that i regret doing :( [Psst, I didn't tell anyone about this either]

Things just getting harder as his jaundice continued for 2 months of his life. Doctor had ruled out all the harmful cause as they diagnose it as  BREASTFEEDING JAUNDICE..I thought i can breath for a second but out of nowhere i was diagnosed to have Hand Foot Mouth Disease during Aidan's first month! I cant direct feed Aidan as usual as i'm afraid he will get it as well. So,my breastpump and i became best of friend for a week-ish :( I tried my best to pump every 2 hours so that Aidan's could get enough but unfortunately the infamous block duct come and get me! Oh my...what a harsh start for my breastfeeding journey! I still didn't reach to the point where Aidan's puke blood all over me and we rushed to emergency department! And it turned out he was fine but my (.)(.) were NOT :( haih!!

Things turn out a little bit better after my confinement period. Even though i'm not an oversupply mommy, I'm not a low supply either. I'm happy enough with my 'cukup-makan' supply. I started working after my 2nd months and my pumping routine was and still 3 times daily. Once in the car on the way to work [8-830], once after lunch [1245-1315], and once in the car on my way back from work [1730-1800]. I did skipped lunch pumping session once in awhile, but i will try to make up for it by pumping longer for my next session. So far this routine works for me! Try to find your own routine which fits you most!

I had set my goal but i'm not quite sure if i ever going to make it. Alhamdulillah! I've almost reach the first half of my goal! In Sya Allah, i'll work harder for the second half!! Thank you so much to my ultimate supporter, Mr Hubby who help me to push it through! Thank you for waking up early every morning just to wash and sterilize all the bottles.Thank you for putting up with all my craving [mind you, my craving during breastfeeding are much more worst than pregnancy period..hahah]. Thank you for everything..even though your nagging hurt my eardrum so much..i still love you! :)

To all mommies out there, I am 100% sure that we are trying our best for our kids no matter how judgmental everyone surround us would be! Keep strong!! You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have!


Lots of Love,

Juitanis

Randomness: Transcending scarcity, envy, and spendy, because, money matters!

Hey lovlies,

Nowadays with the rising of our cost of living in Malaysia, we should have more awareness on how we can spend and generate more income. I came across one article today by Ellen Powers, founder of Money Matters and i find it interesting enough to share her tips on how to spend wisely. 

By Ellen Powers, founder of Money Matters

Here are 10 tips I want to share with you on how you might transcend scarcity, envy, and spendy too:

1. Ask yourself, “really?!” every time you open your wallet for wants vs. needs. Can
   the money you are reaching for do more good in your life elsewhere if you
   protected it?
2. Don’t live beyond your means. Learn to love living well below your means. It’s
   cooler. No one really cares if your kitchen tile is a custom imported hand cut
   stone from Italy.
3. Ignore the flashy spending others do. Create a financial goals timeline even on the
   back of a cocktail napkin for starters. If envy strikes, review your goals.
4. Log in to your retirement savings account and look at what’s in there, look at how
   much is going in from each paycheck, look at where it’s going and how those
   investments are doing, ask yourself if they are balanced and are serving you
   well or if they’re costing you and keeping you up at night. Don’t look at it
   every day. Just often enough.
5. Ask yourself can I be saving more and in more places? I actually save over 25% of
   my gross income annually. You may need to save more or less. Start with what
   you can afford and then up it every year. And save at work if you can, and
   beyond work if you can.
6. Keep a long-term perspective. Don’t give up too soon. And know that it’s never too
   soon or too late to start. I’ve seen my regular, consistent contributions build
   up over time and compound. Compounding is a magical thing, but the magic takes
   time, patience, and consistency.
7. Think about how you can protect your savings, your assets, and your income. That
   means insure yourself adequately. Lots of ways to do that.
8. Ask for help. Really ask and seek out help. 
9. Remember, no one will ever care about your money as much as you do. Make at least as much time for your own financial planning checkups, as you do your vacation planning.
10. Be well. It just costs less.

Because, your money matters!


Lots of Love,

Juitanis