May 21, 2017

Daris Isa: Happy First Birthday!!

Dear Daris dearie,

Happy first birthday my second born! I must be mistaken though, because I could have sworn you were born only yesterday..But i supposed the calendar doesn't lie and you are one year older last 1 May 2017 :)

I will never forget the day you joined our family.  You must have been anxious to meet mama, baba and abang Aidan :) After seems like the longest 38 weeks of my life, Alhamdulillah for the uncomplicated labour (You can read your birth story here :)).  It was the second time in my life that a delivery-room nurse had placed a wrinkled newborn boy on my chest. I was smitten. And I was terrified, not of what you’d be like, but what I’d be like as your mother. What if I made comparisons between you and abang Aidan? And what if my sloppy parenting ruined you for life?Sure, I loved you instantly. But what if I didn’t love you the right way? What is the right way? Sigh! Nobody knows the answer -_-

Thank you for giving me another try in taking care of a baby while I am simultaneously honing my skills in taking care of a toddler. I apologize if now you have to share my attention with your abang. I apologize when i have to hand you to baba when abang is not feeling well. I apologize when i need to put you in your crib, when abang cries because he fall down. I'm sorry when i need to leave you and abang at Mak's house because i have to work. I promise i will make it up to both of you guys!

At one year old, you already walking and running around the house, loves singing and dancing especially to "Happy Birthday" song, mimicking a few words that we make, understand simple question or command, love abang so much (like seriously, i kid you not), love spicy food(Penang much?), still an avid breast-feeder, scared of people and such a clingy baby (cant really do much around the house when he is around). I want you to know that I am as proud of you as I am of your brother. 

May Allah SWT ease everything for you, May you grow up to be the best explorer, learner and seeker as per your name hold. I’ll be your mama for a long time, let me love you as long as i could.

lots of love,